Friday, July 4, 2014

Dealing

Dearest Tragedy,
  Here I sit wondering why my life is the way it is. Only person to blame is myself sad to say isn't it. I see guys come and go from this city I live in and no ones remembers who they are when they move back. Its a curse I remember faces alot. I was recently called  stuck up and arrogant, but yet I've never been that way towards people. I realize that I'm still too nice. I cry out to change who I am, but for some reason I continue to stay the same. Why can't I make the changes I need to survive in this gay culture that is one question I can never answer. I may smile, laugh, and make jokes but deep down I'm still hurting no matter what I do to try to change that I always come back to feeling this melancholy feeling. In this gay community we are constantly judge for what we look like, how we dress, how much we make, and if we are relevant. I hit on guys all the time forever getting turned down or rejected. I've tried being forward or aggressive I've that and still struck out Maybe I just have no game when it comes to picking up guys, I'm socially awkward and I don't know how to fix it. I'd be the best bf ever I'd love and spoil you the best way I could.  I'd even give my all for you. Why won't guys take that same leap for me?