Dearest Tragedy,
Well I'm beginning to regain hope again. I finally landed a job after 3 months of looking and filling out apps plus going to interviews. Never thought getting a job in my field of work would be so hard. I guess I've learned to cherish having a job and whatever this new job will throw at me I'll will use it as a growing and learning experience. I've told myself this time around think of long term instead of short term. Although I do not like living in this city, it is my home and I'll will work to harder than ever to get back on my feet. It's time I stop fighting this city and let this city help me to become what I will let myself become. I'm 30 years old it's time for me to really put on my big boy pants and truly become an adult. Just hope that I'll have the support from friends and family like I always have had.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Lessons Learned
Dearest Tragedy,
Well I'm back in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania again. Seems like I'm always coming back home. I miss Columbus, but losing my job there and having to come home tells me maybe I just need to stay home forever sadly. This time around it seems harder for me to get back on my feet. I'll have interviews, but never hear anything back. Not sure what's going on with me, I regret some decisions I made after leaving Columbus. I can't change them now. I'm 30yrs old back at home with moms. I'm always trying and maybe I shoot too high, but I guess that's always been my down fall aiming to high and always falling down or giving up when things falter.
I've looked into schooling and can't start til August if I get accepted of course. Love life is ok I think I'm talkin to a handsome guy, and yes it's long distance. I know lol, but I think he's worth the risk we click so well and he can pick up on my emotions before I do. I am afraid like always, because I have self-esteem issues and I never feel like I'm good enough. My last relationship is you want to call it that I don't think I was fully ready to handle. I guess I gotta focus this time on making me better emotionally and learn how to love me for me as begin to fall in love once more. No one said it would be easy. Some just think I'm a disaster always waiting to happen, but I own it to myself to "risk it to get the biscuit"persay.
Well I'm back in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania again. Seems like I'm always coming back home. I miss Columbus, but losing my job there and having to come home tells me maybe I just need to stay home forever sadly. This time around it seems harder for me to get back on my feet. I'll have interviews, but never hear anything back. Not sure what's going on with me, I regret some decisions I made after leaving Columbus. I can't change them now. I'm 30yrs old back at home with moms. I'm always trying and maybe I shoot too high, but I guess that's always been my down fall aiming to high and always falling down or giving up when things falter.
I've looked into schooling and can't start til August if I get accepted of course. Love life is ok I think I'm talkin to a handsome guy, and yes it's long distance. I know lol, but I think he's worth the risk we click so well and he can pick up on my emotions before I do. I am afraid like always, because I have self-esteem issues and I never feel like I'm good enough. My last relationship is you want to call it that I don't think I was fully ready to handle. I guess I gotta focus this time on making me better emotionally and learn how to love me for me as begin to fall in love once more. No one said it would be easy. Some just think I'm a disaster always waiting to happen, but I own it to myself to "risk it to get the biscuit"persay.
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